Sexual Magnetism
by HollyHop
Summary: Rimmer doesn't know how to tell Lister about his feelings for him and therefore pretends to slip him some of the sexual magnetism virus Kryten took from Dr. Lanstrom's lab. Slash ensues. This is a kinky one-shot (literally) and that means two gorgeous boys getting it on. If you are afraid of that kind of stuff, don't read this.


A/N: This is a one-shot (literally) so read and enjoy.

Warning: It's slash. I warned ya.

Sexual Magnetism

"Aw, come on, Rimmer, you need to loosen up a bit. I mean, look at us, we're free men again. No more prison cells, no more pink overalls. We need to get our boogie shoes on and go on the pull." Lister twisted his hips and legs to emphasize his meaning.

Rimmer looked down his nose at him in disgust. He had never been one for going down the pub, discoing all night or chatting up women. He'd been rubbish at all these social interactions. And he didn't enjoy them one bit. He'd rather have spent the evening in their quarters, playing a game or watching a TV show together.

"Listen, man, I don't care whether you WANT to come or not. I'm goin' and you're comin' with me." In this at least he was serious. Lister had no intention of going out alone. He wanted his friend to come along. Maybe, if the drinks were good and the girls weren't, he'd get a chance of dropping a few hints in Rimmer's direction, about how he might actually not be all that interested in going out with anyone else but him.

"Oh, alright, then. Just shut up about it." Rimmer tried to sound annoyed, but thought that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. Ever since Lister had allegedly returned from a seven-year-journey thorugh deep space and Red Dwarf, the crew and he himself had been resurrected, he'd felt his feelings for his roommate getting more and more confused. Hadn't he always hated the slobby git? And now they had become something like friends. And lately he'd been getting these flashes in his head, moments of madness he'd called them, where he'd reached out and touched his friend's cheek or simply took him into his arms.

He knew he'd never been any good at picking up women and if he thought about it seriously, he'd not really been all that keen either, but he certainly wasn't interested in men. Not once had he ever felt himself drawn towards another man. It was just Lister, who kept on barging into his dreams and drawing his gaze. Whenever he tried to concentrate on a book or a movie, his mind kept wandering off. Sometimes he even had to force his eyes to stay focussed on his book, instead of trying to catch glimpses of his roommate having breakfast or getting changed for bed. No wonder he'd never been able to study for his exams. And now Lister wanted to go on the pull? Which meant that he'd have to sit at the bar all night, watching Lister trying to get off with some girl? Great. That sounded like a splendid piece of exquisite torture. And he wasn't partial to that at all.

On the other hand, he still had some of that virus Kryten had swiped from Dr. Lanstrom. Sexual Magnetism. He shuddered to think what had happened the last time he'd swigged it. He had been forced by all the women at the Captain's table to please them. But maybe tonight it would help him to forget about Lister for a while and have some fun.

While Lister got ready to go out, putting on his cleanest pair of trousers and a reasonably fresh shirt, Rimmer opened two bottles of beer. He'd simply slip the virus into their drinks and then they could both enjoy a night of carefree fun. In his head this sounded like a brilliant plan. He stood with the tube that contained the virus perched on the rim of the first bottle. 'But what if Lister drank the virus and then he, Rimmer wouldn't be able to resist him. That could really end up in a catastrophe. Well, Lister doesn't really need the virus, does he? He's popular enough as it is.' So, he decided to just have some himself.

'But what if he had some and then Lister wouldn't be able to take his hands off him? Or did the virus only afflict women?' He couldn't take the risk. With a small sigh, he stoppered the bottle shut again and slipped it back into his pocket. They'd have to do without it.

"Want some?" He turned round towards Lister and offered him one of the bottles.

"Sure. Thanks, man. To us and a night to remember." Lister lifted his bottle up and they clinked them against each other. They both drank the first few sips in silence. Rimmer tried not to look at his friend, for fear of showing his feelings too clearly. Then another one of his moments of madness gripped him.

"I … erm … thought you might like to know that I put some of that virus in our drinks to make our night out a success. The sexual magnetism one." He felt himself blush at the lie, but hoped that Lister would put it down to the revelation, rather than the intention behind it. He could hardly believe himself. He had just lied to Lister about slipping him some of the virus in the hope of … of what, really? That Lister would be more successful with the girls running on a placebo effect or rather that he would jump him here and now and they'd never even make it down to the bar. Both thoughts made him blush even harder.

"YOU WHAT?" Lister sprayed his last gulp of beer back out and onto the floor.

"I thought we would benefit from a little extra … pulling power." Rimmer was aware of his ears burning red and his eyes flickering from right to left, not really focussing on Lister's face, which he knew to be furious.

"But …" Lister was trying to come to terms with the revelation. "But that's just crazy."

He thought about how his real intentions had been to get closer to Rimmer tonight and not actually pick up a girl. And now the virus would ruin that for him well and good. Why was Rimmer always so desperate at being successful picking up girls? Why couldn't he just own up to it and accept he was rubbish with women? Lister shook his head. Then he looked back up at Rimmer, who still seemed a bit shellshocked by what he'd done. What if Lister took his chance now and then blamed it on the virus later? That sounded like a brilliant plan.

He put his bottle down on the table and walked up to his friend, stopping just barely a foot in front of him. Rimmer didn't dare to look up. Lister took his friend's beer out of his hands and placed it on the table as well. Then he reached up a hand to touch Rimmer's cheek. He trembled slightly at the thought of what this gesture might imply for their future, but decided he was safe with the virus running through his blood, technically making him ill. He couldn't be blamed for any of this. Lister already felt his blood heating up. This was perfect.

He felt Rimmer leaning slightly into his touch and concentrated again on the man standing so close to him. Their eyes now met, locked and held. There was no doubt that Rimmer was also affected by the virus now. Lister leaned in and then hestitated again, but Rimmer quickly closed the gap and touched his lips with his own. Lister was just about to return the kiss, when Rimmer pulled back again, insecurity written all over his features. Lister grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in again, this time leading the kiss. Their lips pressing into each other hungrily.

Then Lister pushed Rimmer roughly against the table. Upon contact their kiss broke and they stared at each other for a split second, both shocked by the fierceness of their longing. Then Lister reached up to pull Rimmer's face down again, leaning his forehead against the other man's. Their breaths harsh upon each other's skin.

"I … want you … so much."

Lister forced the words through his gritted teeth, while gripping the back of Rimmer's shirt and trying to pull him even closer. Rimmer was too stunned for words. Instead he grabbed Lister's face in his hands and kissed him again. This time their mouths opened immediately and their tongues fought with each other like mediaeval knights jousting. Lister could feel Rimmer hardening against his stomach and this spurred him on even further. He needed this man to be all kinds of naked. Almost ripping his friend's shirt out of the waistband, Lister pushed his hands underneath it, clawing at the soft flesh. Rimmer understood immediately and tried to open the first couple of buttons on his shirt, but quickly gave up and simply tore the shirt off over his head. And then his t-shirt. And then Lister's shirt, too. Their upper bodies freed, they pressed up against each other's skin, running their hands along every inch they could reach.

"Bed, now."

Lister pushed Rimmer sideways towards their bunk, already fumbling his belt open. He managed to somehow undo his trousers and Rimmer's at the same time and they both shook them off, before climbing into the bunk together. Lister wrapped his legs around Rimmer's and they could both feel their hardened pricks rubbing against each other. Lister slipped his hands underneath the waistband of Rimmer's boxershorts cupping his buttocks and pressing his groin even harder against his friend's. He could feel Rimmer immitating the movement and moaned. This was even better than he'd imagined it to be.

He bit Rimmer's lower lip lightly and then ran his hands from his bunkmate's buttocks round the front, gripping his erection. Rimmer arched into the contact and threw his head back, breaking their kiss. He was already breathingly heavily now and when he returned his eyes to Lister's, they were on fire.

"I want you, Dave. I want you to…" He fought with the need to say it and the embarassement of those words being out in the open. "I want to feel you inside of me."

At this Lister squeezed his hand firmly around his friend's cock, prompting another buck and moan from Rimmer, and nodded in agreement. He pushed Rimmer's boxershorts down and off and then his own. They enjoyed the feeling of their nacked bodies pressing and rubbing against each other for a while, until that didn't seem to satisfy their hunger anymore. Lister broke the kiss, lifted Rimmer's left leg onto his hip, took his own forefinger into his mouth to make it wet and then searched for the small opening between Rimmer's buttocks, gently slipping his finger inside. At this Rimmer clenched his buttocks tightly.

"Don't squeeze, man. Try and push slightly against it. Makes it easier."

Slowly Rimmer relaxed and Lister started moving his finger up and down in a constant rhythm, reaching up his other hand to pull Rimmer back into another kiss. He could feel that his friend was already entering the tunnel and wanted him to get his release. Sliding down, he took Rimmer's prick in his mouth and at the same time slipped a second finger inside of him. He could hear Rimmer give a strangled cry and sped up his movements. Only seconds later Rimmer bucked up and came into his mouth, trying not to shout out his name at maximum volume.

Lister withdrew his fingers, covered his aching prick with the cum and turned his friend over onto his belly. At first Rimmer didn't get the point but then his brain kicked back in and he propped himself up on all fours. Lister slipped his two fingers in again, to make it easier for his friend to take him and then gently pushed into him. Even this early on, he knew he wouldn't last long. The tightness made it exquisitely arousing and knowing that the skin he was looking at and the waist he was holding onto belonged to Rimmer, heightened this experience to breaking point. When he was fully immersed, he slowly started to thrust. He needed, wanted to go faster, but then this would have been over all too soon. He tried to pace himself but quickly felt his vision narrowing and his breath quickening. He sped up, urging himself deeper and deeper into that gorgeous man and then he couldn't control himself any longer.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard, man."

"Oh God, Dave."

"Arn."

And then he shot his load, still gripping tightly onto those delicious hips.

XXX

"It 'ad to happen, didn't it?" Lister turned his head sideways to look at his friend. They were lying next to each other, still naked, both with their arms folded behind their heads, only their elbows touching.

"Pretty much." Rimmer's voice was cautious.

"I mean with the virus an' all?" It was not as if he was searching for an excuse why they'd just had the best sex of their lives, but knowing Rimmer, it was better to tread carefully. Rimmer shrugged noncomittally. Lister let his eyes stray down that gorgeous body and felt himself getting aroused again.

"It really should've worn off by now, though." In fact, he had no idea how much Rimmer had put in and how long it would take to wear off. And if he was honest with himself, he could live very well with it never wearing off.

"I didn't put it in." Rimmer said flatly.

"What?" Lister hadn't meant for this to come out quite so harshly.

"I didn't actually put it in." Rimmer was still not looking at him, but fixing the rungs of the top bunk with his stare.

"You didn't put it in?" Lister now couldn't help grinning. This gave Rimmer a bit of confidence that maybe, just maybe, this mad idea of his wouldn't lead to the complete and utter destruction of their friendship. It had seemed a brilliant plan at the time, but now … now it justed seemed like the most idiotic thing he'd ever done.

"Nope."

"So, all of this …was just us?" Lister rolled over onto his side and propped his head up on one arm.

"Yep."

"You lyin' cheatin' weaselly piece of scum." Lister said with a huge smile on his lips. And this time it was definitely meant as a compliment. Rimmer just shrugged. Then he turned his head sideways and saw that Lister's eyes were beaming. He could practically feel the heat burning in them. And finally he relaxed. His hand went up to Lister's face and cupped his cheek. Then Lister leant down and they gave each other a long lingering kiss, much gentler than the urgent, passionate kisses they had shared before.

"We really had it comin' for quite a while. 'adn't we?"

"God, yes, and I'd really like to have it coming again."

"I think … that can be arranged." And with this Lister rolled on top of his friend again, smiling into their kiss. Finally home.


End file.
